I do not know what it is like to be married or what happens when adultery is committed within the context of marriage.
I hope I never have to know, either.
On the other hand, I have had the experience of being single for almost 20 years.
Therefore, I do know what it's like committing adultery while being single.
How? Read on.
* * * * * * *
Recently, I have been listening to Mark Driscoll's sermon series on the 10 Commandments. I started with the IV Commandment due to curiosity and have worked my way through the series. I have loved what he has taught so far and I imagine I will love the rest.
Sunday, I listend to his sermon on the VII Commandment - You shall not commit adultery.
If I could sum up his sermon in one sentence, here's what it would say:
Adultery begins in the heart and moves to the hands, first against God and then against man.
{Side note: I wasn't trying to make it rhyme, it just happened.}
I thought I was exempt from this sermon because I was single.
"I'm good, Pastor Mark. I'll listen to this sermon for future reference just in case this happens to me one day."
Then the Word of God hit me.
The verses in Matthew 5 stung me like a yellow jacket.
"You have heard that it was said, "You shall not commit adultery." But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart."
Yes, I may never have slept with anyone, but I have committed emotional adultery.
In other words, I'm not innocent.
* * * * * *
As I was reflecting on the sermon, I remembered a blog post by my former small group leader, Shara.
She wrote a post to guys and girls talking about the dangers of not stating your intentions (aka not being honest with one another).
In the post, she wrote two letters, one to the guys and one to the girls. I think she has some good points in regards to emotional purity.
Guys: "...please do not continually and consistently flirt, ask us/take us out, call us, text us, etc. if you don’t [like us]."
Girls: "We do not need to lead guys on. Don’t be the super flirtatious girl who plays with all the boys’ emotions and desires. Don’t do it. Have respect for yourself and have respect for the men in your life."
Because here's the underlying message – every time you flirt, every time you share your heart with someone who is not your spouse, every time you view that image online – you are committing adultery.
And girls, in particular, every time you match your name with that guy's last name and daydream about your future together, you are committing emotional adultery.
We've all done it whether we knew it or not. I'm just as guilty.
Like I said earlier, adultery starts in the heart.
It's the intent behind your words, your actions, and your attitude.
That's why we need a plan, one with which to fight the battle of adultery.
We need a "How–To" to avoid the "Want–To."
Mark Driscoll wrote what he calls a "10–Point Battle Plan."
It lays out practical ways that singles and couples can avoid falling into adultery - emotionally and physically.
I would encourage you to check it out and spend sometime adapting it to your own life.
What are ways in which you can guard against emotional adultery?
Feel free to leave them in the comments below!
I'll be back next week to talk about the personal guidelines I have set and how we, as singles, can guard against adultery in our day–to–day lives.
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