Sunday, October 13, 2013

Relationships with Guys {Part 3}

Are you ready for the final part in this series on Relationships with Guys? I know you have all been anxiously awaiting for this one!

As we move into the last point, let's not forget that making Jesus #1 in your life and having girlfriends is just as important. Honestly, the first 2 points are good and should be practiced in addition to the third point.

So, are you ready?

Let's do it.

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3. Let them be Guys.

I don't know if you have ever seen this video from Blimey Cow, but I encourage you to watch it before you read any further.

Did you catch #2?

Give Him Some Space. 

That can also translate to Respect His Life.

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We, as girls, have a tendency to talk. A lot.

I know I love to talk. And on top of loving to talk, I really love having deep conversations with people.

While talking isn't necessarily a bad thing, it can be if you talk to much.

Proverbs tells us that "where words are many, sin is not absent."

As a result, we have to be careful in how much we talk and what we talk about.

So, how does this apply to guy relationships?

Take a minute and evaluate how much time you spend talking to guys and what you talk about with them.

I know for me, I realized I didn't have strong enough boundaries when it came to talking with guys.

I began to reevaluate my conversations and interactions with the guys in my life.

I remember asking the question, "How can I allow the guys in my life to be the initiators? How can I allow them to be the guys that God has created them to be?" 

The LORD brought a few things to mind and, as a result, I have created guidelines that have helped me in my guy relationships.

{Disclaimer: I don't believe this is right for everyone and I have made a few exceptions. I believe the LORD convicts us in different ways so, it's totally up to Him and not me to tell you what you need to do.}

{a.} I don't text, call, or talk with a guy every single day.

I just don't.

It's so simple.

Okay, maybe not that simple. It was a struggle for me when I first created the rule.

But, I just told myself that it's okay if we didn't talk everyday. I mean, if we did that all the time, what would we have left to talk about? 

I would guess mindless things or maybe we would share too much of our hearts. 

Truth be told, there are times when I will go 2-3 months without talking to a guy and it's perfectly fine

And it's even better because then we have more to talk about when we do have a conversation.

And quite frankly, I think I have the best guy friendships because of that decision I made 3 and half years ago.

{b.} I don't friend request guys on Facebook, start a casual conversation with them on social media or text them first.

Friend requests on Facebook and letting them start the conversations are a great way for me to allow the guys in my life to be the initiators that they were created to be. 

I read a quote from Leslie Ludy's book Answering the Guy Questions that basically sums up my belief on this decision.  

"Taking the initiative with a guy, even in the friendship stage, can be dangerous. God designed men to be leaders, the initiators, and the pursuers in male/female relationships. If God desires the friendship to happen, He is perfectly capable of moving on the guy's heart to take the first step and reach out to you."

That doesn't mean I never talk to him, I just give him some space. Like Jordan, from Messy Mondays, is talking about in the video. 

If I do start a conversation with a guy, it's usually about a particular subject – school, theology, an event, or maybe a technical problem. This allows for the conversation to be a guided conversation and not a, "I-don't-really-know-where-I'm-going-with-this-conversation-but-I-just-wanted-an-excuse-to-talk-with-you." 

Does that make sense? 

If not, let me know in the comments or message me and I will try to clear things up for you!

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So, for this week's challenge, I would encourage you to ask the LORD how you can let the guys in your life be the initiators they were created to be!

It might be something completely different than mine and that's okay!

I promise, if you ask the LORD, you will not be disappointed. 

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